I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Randomize
