My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
