I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
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Life is so much better after having sex.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
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You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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