I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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