the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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