So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
