Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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