he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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