Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
