New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
