it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
