I want to stick my p in your. b.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
