There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
