You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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