she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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