Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
