I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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