Kareoke will never be a sober sport
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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