I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
