I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
