Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
