i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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