There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
