come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Randomize
