its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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