While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
