I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
she told me i tasted like america
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
