Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
