Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
