I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize
