On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.