I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail