I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize