Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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