I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
