We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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