He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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