OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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