Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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