Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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