The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Randomize