I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
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Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
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he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I touched a dick in church today
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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