I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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