i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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