Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
He shit in the fireplace
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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