Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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