Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
