I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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