You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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