We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize