Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
