is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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