In the future we'll all be gay
She's JV to your varsity
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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