Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
