hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I am available for nakedness
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
