What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
