He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
