you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize